Cancer's Not For Me

Today let’s get a little more personal. I wasn’t sure for weeks if this was something I wanted to blog about but I think it’s a very important subject and a sensitive one for that matter. I want to share my own experience with you, because from day one I decided to create a blog where I can be myself. Those of you who know me can see authenticity in my blogs, and those of you who don’t, this page is basically ME in every aspect.

At a younger age I loved laying in the sun and getting tanned in the Summer, having that GLOW to my skin that we are all obsessed with. I didn’t appreciate my whiteness and always thought I looked pale. I mean a lot of us in our generation will say we like a nice tan, it just looks sexy! I was never the type to go into tanning beds too much, but I did at times go to a few sessions just to add some color to my skin tone. I remember my mom and elders always saying “its dangerous don’t do that" but I mean when we’re young we think we’re invincible. Nothing can touch us and "cancer’s not for us.” Like “who me? No way! That’s just a foreign word thrown around and it happens to ‘others’ way over there!”

Well, years ago, there was something tiny I noticed on my right shoulder and it just looked like a bump. Simple as that; a skin colored bump and it was aesthetically not pleasing to me so I decided to go to the doctor to remove it. I mean, who likes extra bumps on their body right? At the doctor’s office, I was told it looks like a skin tag and if removed, the scar would look worse than this bump that was literally nonexistent. Long story short I was convinced and walked out. A few years passed and it seemed like overnight the bump had become triple its size and I wondered how on earth I didn’t even notice. Every time I would be talking to someone I would catch them staring, then asking me what it was. As if I was so happy about this stupid thing on my shoulder in the first place, that stare and eyebrow raise would throw me off the edge, internally. (Mind you, this bump was not as horrendous and big as you are probably imagining LOL. Some of my friends didn’t even notice it, until I mentioned and pointed it out) Regardless, I made up my mind to go remove it once and for all.

I went back to the doctor and this time said I rather have a scar than a bump, because a scar at least has an explanation behind it, while the bump didn’t. He agreed that it should be removed and explained that for safety reasons any time anything is removed, a routine biopsy needs to be sent to the lab, to clear any suspicion. We took the steps necessary. He told me not to worry, and honestly I wasn’t AT ALL. I just wanted THAT gone. This in-office procedure was painless with local anesthesia and I was out of there in less than an hour, happier than ever.

A week later I was supposed to go for the removal of my stitches and I was so busy cleaning out my house I had forgotten. The receptionist called me to remind me, and I told her to please reschedule my appointment, as she placed me on hold. She got back to me in a few minutes and said “its really important that you come in because we can’t have the stitches on there much longer. You SHOULD come in today".” So I did.

This is becoming a little long and I do apologize, but I walked into my doctor’s office and as I sat down, I heard “your test results came back". Mind you I had entirely forgotten about any testing we were doing, and before I had a chance to process it, I heard “what we removed was actually skin cancer.” My body literally went numb as I asked “you mean like potentially skin cancer” and he replied with “No, it WAS skin cancer.” I am not sure if anyone has gotten news like that before, and I pray not, but at that moment, I felt distressed, lucky, scared, happy, confused and any other feeling humanly possible. I was so relieved to have gotten rid of it, but I was so scared that CANCER had been with me for so long. That moment and news changed me forever.

Now, I embrace my skin color, and I try to avoid the sun as much as possible within limits of course, because we all still need sun light! I decided to share this with you, because for me, this is something I have to watch out for, for the rest of my life as my body is prone to it. At the moment I have another similar bump above my lip that I need to go get checked out ASAP. Every tiny bump I notice on my body, I start freaking out, but I try to remain positive with my reality.

If there is anything I want you to take from my experience, it’s to never think you are invincible, and to always take care of yourself. Go to your exams, do your research, but don’t freak yourself out. Don’t be so obsessed with the sun, it can really harm you and most importantly don’t tan in beds PLEASE! Take care of your body and yourself. After all, it’s the only thing you get to keep until you die, so treat it well.